This is my first post on this blog–and I have decided to write about gratitude to begin the filling of this space.
Last year was one of the most difficult years I’ve ever lived in my adult life. While the prevailing feeling was loneliness, the reality is that my friends held me up and kept me from being pitched into the ocean of postpartum depression, new motherhood, and abandonment. I was, in fact, not alone.
My friends came around and dropped gifts (food, bibs, toys, booze, handmade blankets, baby clothing) and food (pasta, pozole, pizza, etc) off to me, dropped by, sent me things in the mail, called me, texted me (so grateful for friends in different time zones), sent cards, watched P, and countless other valuable acts. I can’t remember it all, though it is all these things that kept me from embitterment and reminded me that people are good. Friends are good. People remembered me and P. My life could be amazing, and it is.
I’m often the one organizing things–but that energy is largely gone these days, because frankly, I’m refilling my own well for now. And so I feel I cannot return what I have been given. My postpartum depression is behind me, my life is getting back on track, my new identity is becoming more familiar, but I’m still overwhelmed by this enormous transition. I’m amazed at all the energy my friends have summoned (so many people who did the above are mothers to very very young children–and all of my friends are busy people) and sent my way. I hope someday I’ll galvanize energy and return positivity into the universe.
My life feels very much saved by love. Thank you.